Day 1

Ok, so I was reading this chick's journal blog that I found through pinterest, and I can be totally honest, I hate hate hate HATE despite detest HATE the 'pinspiration to thinspiration' pins, it's stupid, thankfully a lot of people share my distaste and have started pinning things like fitspirations or whatever, fit people, how to gain muscle, grow strong, healthy, we're taking a turn people, it's a good turn, and I need to jump on a serious band wagon because I've fallen off all of my wagons. I have an enormous ass, I have all of my life, but sadly, since getting pregnant I gained 60; SIXTY SIX-TEE pounds with my first, went on weight watchers, lost 35, and gained back 25 with my second pregnancy, I lost a bit, not sure how much, but it's a slow road, and I've not stuck to much, using every excuse in the book. I have food allergies, so sticking to any one diet is really quite difficult, finding foods that don't have flour, wheat, nor sugar is hard enough, but when it's always in your house and you're cooking for a family of four and you're the only one who can't partake in deliciousness, it sucks, so most times it's been me partaking in the wheat, flour, and sugars with them, I just pop a few tylenol, advils, and sometimes benadryl and suffer. 


I should clarify, we have two kids, neither of which have a lot of sugar, but we do like to buy whole wheat products, we really limit stuff for the kids, I think our eldest (daughter) has had ice cream less than five times in her life, haha probably less than three, my son, has had a taste of frozen yoghurt, but yeah, never things like pop, candy, nor the like, we don't eat that, we don't encourage our kids to. 


I think the main problem is A: moderation (obviously) and B: zero exercise.
I take the kids for walks, we're pretty active that way, but I've always resisted heavy work outs and the like,  my husband, on the other hand climbs ice, mountains, rock, he lives to exhaust himself, I'm not sure he's managed to exhaust himself yet, but he tries, oh god he tries. Plus he eats like a horse, I think growing up in a house full of kids and not a lot of money, food really gets competitive, if I don't eat what's on my plate now, someone else will, that's still true, if I pause to get up to get a glass of water, I can assume my husband will be eyeing up my plate, frick, knowing where I'm at now, I should have let him!


We eat a lot of healthy foods, I think the crappiest we eat is home made macaroni, we've never bought KD or anything, for 'fast food' we order sushi and pho, occasionally we order gourmet pizza, but by comparison, we eat pretty damn well.


Anyways, I'm not one to get up and go for a hike, I LOVE riding my bike but I haven't, this is going to sound like a whole lot of excuses, and it probably is, but I'll document it (for my sake) anyways.


I gained that 60 with my Daughter, I was exhausted for the first half of the pregnancy, taking time out of DRIVING to the grocery store to pull over to nap, pregnancy cured me of food allergies so I ate anything (and everything) and just incubated the fat, I was low energy and gained quickly, not so quickly that my midwife was alerted but certainly so quickly that my face took on a different shape and it's just so...weird looking now, anyways, after a difficult delivery and recovery, I then spent time and energy losing a little over half of it, and then we discussed and decided to have a second child on January 16th, 2010; totally weird, because our son was then born January 16, 2011.


ANYWAYS, I didn't gain as much with this pregnancy, possibly because he was a boy, possibly because I was carrying differently, possibly because I was chasing after a toddler, possibly because I didn't want to devastate my body like I did with the first, who knows, anyways, didn't gain AS much, but I did gain what I'd lost, but yay! I gained a son!


The end of the pregnancy I got a pretty severe case of sciatica, I slipped a disc and MAN it was painful, the doctors were trying to get me on everything from Oxycodone, to morphine to t3s, all of which I denied, as hi, not really willing to give birth to a kid addicted.


That delivery was beautiful though, home, candle lit, in the water, just me, my husband, and my mom (at the very last minute) he came so quickly that the midwife missed his birth by 10 minutes or worse. Beautiful recovery and just wonderful serene son. I can imagine my birth to him and meditate on it, it was just amazing.


Anyways, a 2 months later, my daughter fractured her foot, so I was doing a lot of lifting two kids, I slipped something, I just woke up and couldn't get out of bed, it was awful, my legs wouldn't work, I drug myself to the hallway and called my sister in law to come get me, watch the kids while I went to the emergency, fast forward and I was literally stuck on my back for the next 8 weeks. My in laws had to come every morning from down island, drive here for two hours then take care of me, and my two kids every freaking day. It was horrible and a huge inconvenience for them I'm sure, humiliating and awful for me, but man do I ever appreciate them, (that's a whole other post waiting to happen).


Anyways, I had emergency surgery and started recovery, my muscles were all screwed up and non existant from not moving for 8 weeks, I was sore and tired and irritable but now for the first time since 2008, I feel like I'm capable of recovering from two pregnancies, two births, and one bout of neurosurgery, I gave myself the grace period of xmas, and since January 16th I've been counting calories and trying diets and blargh, the only thing that I actually find doable thus far is the calorie thing. I'm on 1250 calories a day and the only thing I find is that I have issues eating ALL of my calories, I use the myfitnesspal app to track progress, now I feel like I should be integrating a fitness regime, it's getting warmer out, I'm sick of wearing the same clothes every day, I wear 2 skirts and 2 pairs of pants because I REFUSE to buy clothes until I can buy them in a smaller size, so I thought that would be motivation, yeah, no it's not. I just rotate the same clothes, and don't care what I look like. 


So this is day one of fitness, the girl from that blog said that starting a blog would be a good motivator, I tend to start things and watch them not fade but become deleted, I did the 30 day shred once, one time, I don't even think that I finished all of it, I couldn't WALK for three days, I looked like both my legs were prosthetic, but now, I blog, please let this be my keeping on track because I don't want this extra blarb hanging off of my body, I want to be capable.


So here's my motivation, this blog, I'm now not allowed to blog until I've finished my fitness routine. As you can tell I have no issues blogging, I have several, I've had a livejournal account since 1996, in 2006 I started rollerskating, I invited others to join, that became a derby, then a league, a gongshow, and a lot of heartbreak and hard times, but I was fit and I was healthy, I wasn't RIPPED, I didn't even want to be,  but I was comfortable, actually I remember thinking I was the fattest girl in derby but I can see now that I had no idea! This is me in 2006 with a very happy Mike.

Mike and I were just dating at the time, When we got engaged shortly before this picture was taken, he had a tape measure and we measured ourselves, hips, shoulders chest, thighs, I remember being mortified that I was the same hip/waist/chest as Mike, he's a dude, I was supposed to be smaller, but hi, looking back, I realize that he is a skinny dude, a really skinny dude, he had/has muscle I should have been stoked. I never wanted to be small, I just wanted to be comfortable. I maintain that thought process today.


This is me 22w with my daughter

This is me 9 months pregnant with my son 

Ok, so I did my day 1 of 30 day shred today and here is the summary

1. Wasn't as hard as it was the first time I tried, I feel accomplished and hope to keep it up
2. I should keep water nearby, because holy crap that crap needs to stay hydrated
3. My daughter (3) is crazy adorable trying to do it with me
4. My daughter (3) is crazy annoying when she starts piling her toys up around my head when I'm doing crunches
5. I want to can keep this up. 

So I earned my blog post for the day, strange that it would be an inspiration but I enjoy writing and I should do it more, I should also make sure my kids aren't licking power outlets, so I'll go tend to their needs! Until tomorrow (said in the tune of the littlest hobo theme song)